Château Margaux redux

I had a nightmare last night.

Château Margaux, Bordeaux (Guy-Louis Combes, 1812).

In my unsettling cauchemar, the owners of Bordeaux's Château Margaux, surely one of the world's most beautiful private residences, decided to California-ize it into a suburban spec house worthy of Sylmar.

Château Margaux, Bordeaux, redux.

The choice of affordable, energy-efficient and easy-to-clean vinyl windows is entirely sensible, while the sliding patio doors on the portico properly blur—Southern California fashion—the boundary between indoors and outside.

The garage doors—undoubtedly from Southern California's overly eager Mesa Garage Doors, whose relentless advertisements pollute my drive-time radio daily—are an improvement that definitely ups the curb appeal of this limestone Empire mansion.

Note to self: Stop eating sardines before bedtime.