Crime of the Week

Where to begin?

This doozie just showed up as a Coldwell Banker listing.

It's even special enough to have its own website, complete with a rheumy, sclerosis-inducing soundtrack fit for a Lifetime miniseries about a teen cancer victim. (I did warn you.)

1412 Oak Crest Ave., South Pasadena

The DIY style could be described as Case-Study-meets-Palladio-at-Home-Depot, but the word garbage also comes to mind.

If you're wondering what's on the inside of that ersatz fan window, wonder no longer: people with kids live here.

Toys are us.

They don't get much uglier than this, people, so drink up.