Crime of the Week

I missed tracking down a Crime of the Week last week, but in my defense, this one more than makes up for it.

No drawbridge? No portcullis?

The L.A. equivalent of Wemmick's castle in Great Expectations—which had, Dickens says, "the queerest gothic windows (by far the greater part of them sham)"—this crenellated hodge-podge would be ridiculous even at Disneyland, but it's preposterously out of place amid the understated houses of Carthay Circle, which, although varied in style, are united by a common regard for taste.

These queer Gothic windows are vinyl pre-fabs, something King Edward II would probably have appreciated on those cold, damp English nights.

For a larger view of this remarkably tacky sham, click here.

Below, a real 14th century castle.

Haughton Castle, Northumberland

Neo-classical gas

This 3-bedroom Carthay Circle bungalow, built in 1923, is for sale according to the sign out front, although the listing does not appear on the MLS. (Bank-owned?) It last sold in 1998 for $370,000, but you can expect to pay significantly more than that now.

815 Schumacher Drive, Carthay Circle.

A lovely rose garden.

The façade is a bit non-descript but leans longingly in the direction of the neo-classical; the hipped roof is a nice touch (but lose those wood shakes) and the pedimented stoop is possibly a remodel—à la Paul Williams—from several decades ago. Those prison bars definitely have to go.

I did a couple of quick Photoshop sketches, pushing the detailing into positive neo-classical territory. Perhaps I've been reading too much Quinlan Terry. A boulder fell into the yard during the renovation process, so I decided to keep it.

Very West Hollywood.

The (very long) sides of the house, with their irregular fenestration, would be a challenge to translate into a classical idiom.

If you're interested, here's who to call: